Half and Half past the expiration date

The half and half is past it's expiration date, and what does that mean really? It means I smell it really closely before pouring it into my coffee. Cause nothing ruins a good cup of coffee like curdled milk! ewwww. I approach milk with caution anyway, lord knows it is a foreign substance, meant for baby cows, not for humans. One must tread cautiously when crossing species lines. Here I am sitting on the last day of the year, waiting for our child to travel those few inches from the uterus to our waiting arms. It could have been weeks ago, it could be weeks from now and here I sit and wait, and contemplate the year that has passed. 2008 was a crazy year. It's been a series of crazy years really. The beginning of this year found us in Hawaii celebrating our wedding. Kauai was rainy and beautiful, my husband sick and sweet. We passed the days watching America's Top Model marathons and eating poke and just being together. Actually perfect. On the way home I received the message about Sacredwillow.com. On the Bart I was given the URL. Who would have thought that your life messages would come with a dotcom? Yet they do.

I went home and did some research and registered the domain. Willow spoke symbolically of so many things I wanted to express to my future clients, spoke of grief and easy, of pain and anesthetics, of growing through bending, of coming back after being cut off, of sitting by a river and watching the world go by, of beauty and of my childhood. Gently it speaks to and honors the darkness inside.

We went to Vegas together for the first time, saw the Raconteurs at the Hard Rock. Vegas was a weird weird place. I'll never stay at the Hard Rock again. But going to Mix was sublime, sharing a meal with B. while we looked out over the city, and ate literally till we got sick...Well say no more. We got drunk, made out in a bad burlesque bar and enjoyed our time, yet not too wildly. We found out the day we got home that I was pregnant. Two weeks later we were in Mexico with C. for a dear friends wedding. The beach and the pool were wonderful. Watching C swim and run around was the most wonderful wonderful experience. She got to be a flower girl and we burnt our skin so badly we couldn't be in the sun unprotected the whole rest of the trip. We traveled to Tullum and I released lifetimes of energy without even looking at it. I wrapped all of that up and just let it go, and how amazing is it to be able to let darkness pass through you and not have to analyze it? What a game our brains play on us, and yet not a game. It's a delicate feat, knowing when it is necessary to actually look at the information you're healing and when to just drop it and move on.

June I turned 38. The rest of the year passed quietly, we went camping a couple times, we made it through a trade show, we practiced some songs, c. started first grade. How proud I was to watch her on the first day, be so comfortable, be so able to talk to a kindergartner and so able to just get in line and go to class. Amazing progress from a year ago when she was the new kid and full of tears. The love of my life celebrated 40 years on the planet. And things were generally more good and more lovely than I could have imagined. My belly grew, the loves of my lives were with me. And yet my heart generally was not singing not able to enjoy fully. I seemed always full of conflict, never able to find that place where I was just smiling cause the sun was up and the air smelled sweet. Just because. I stopped going to classes in October. That relationship became renegotiated and in such a strange way, via email. Teachers I had worked with for years now. I look forward to checking on that relationship after baby is born.

I sublet a nice office close to my home for client sessions, immediately people started calling. I began doing bookkeeping on the side, things flowed immediately. My business cards are almost done and beautiful, my day job is on hold pending the birth of my child I feel on the cusp of a transition in so many ways and as I sit here on this cusp the thing that I look at is this....how is it that I can be blessed with so much, my health, a new baby, a darling daughter, my soul mate, no one is hunting me, no bombs fall on our town, a new president is elected that actually brought me hope, we have food on the table and the ability to have me be home to take care of us in a different way. I have my healing practice, I have healed so much in the last few years and as this transition is happening, I watch the darkness in me pass, like fog lifting from the hills, like paint fumes off-gassing from a freshly painted wall. This is the lesson of willow that I have invited into my life, to bend and allow. To accept the grief of life along with the celebrations, to accept my dark side and embrace it, lest it drive me in ways I do not sense. That the fog informs the light, to find happiness in all places. Subtly lessons.

And the biggest one being brought to me by my own baby and body. Be patient. Enjoy the moment, prepare, and yet also be ready to act in the moment, knowing that as much as you prepared you must let that go and just be ready when the time comes. So here we are, at the end of 2008. On the verge of 2009.

There is no moment but this moment. The flow of time moves through me. I am prepared, yet letting go. I am ready, yet sitting calmly. Or at least in the practice of sitting calmly. Life is that of all things, a constant practice and moments of flow.

Here we go....

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You are the silent stone
I am the water that
Makes sand

You are the sun above
And I the bloom
In your hand

You are the fox
I am the rabbit
Bloody in your teeth

I want you
Like you aren't mine
Like I have to steal you away

even though you sleep
your breath on my cheek
at night Read more!

A gateway of sorts

Here I am at the 37th week of my pregnancy. I've noticed as I look at my own energy a distinct change. Whereas just a few weeks ago the golden glow of the spirit world seemed centered around my belly, now it has grown. I found myself requesting to look at my energetic body, and kept getting the same glowing picture. I realized with amazement, that's ME! That glowing otherworldly space is perhaps what happens to women when they are preparing to bring a spirit into the physical world. Perhaps it's just what I look like when this is happening. Never the less, I am humbled in the face of this moment to come. I am grateful at the reminder of fertility and growth during this, the darkest time of the year. So here I am serving as a doorway during this the darkest time of the year. Speaking of doorways... My daughter was confronted with the mystery of mistletoe recently. She kept insisting that it belonged on the tree itself. Of course my husband and I kept trying to demonstrate why we should hang it in the door way.

For Smooches!! we'd exclaim.

She shook her head & kept putting it back on the tree. I was curious enough to do a little research on mistletoe. Turns out mistletoe is used as a symbol of fertility during this time of year, because it blooms right around winter solstice. Red berries remind us of life, during this the resting time of year. It is considered poisonous, but also is used to treat circulatory and respiratory problems. Fourth and fifth chakra issues. Even more interesting is that I learned that the plant is a hemi-parasitic and lives on other trees. So my daughter was right in her knowledge that mistletoe does belong ON the tree.

Still I like the kissing part better! Read more!

A Willow's Wisdom

The Healing Willow

Willow has been used as a healing herb since ancient times. Aspirin is a derivative of the chemical salicin, which was derived from the willow bark of the White willow.

Willow reduces fever and relieves rheumatism. The bark from Salix Negra, black willow, has similar properties but was used as an aphrodisiac and sexual sedative. Salix caprea can be used for indigestion, and coughs. It is also used as an antiseptic and disinfectant. Willow has long been known as the tree of enchantment and the tree of dreaming. "The moon owns the willow," (Culpeper The Complete Herbal).

Robert Graves suggests that witch, wicker and wicked are all derived from willow. It has a rich history and has been used by healers and wise men and women for centuries. What can it teach us now?


What I look at is its ability to bend and regrow after injury. It's grace and flexibility. The strength of the willow is in its ability to be flexible, to accept life and to change with it. If during a storm a willow branch becomes disconnected, it will, given soil and water, regrow. This image illustrates both the ability to go through the darkness and to create again. Willow is often associated with grief—the "weeping willow." Its branches curve down towards the water like one who is deep in sadness and lost in reflection. It speaks of allowing grief—of bending with it, acknowledging it—yet still growing and producing beauty. I am reminded of the "soft path." Rather than the warrior’s path of strength and battle, willow evokes the feminine soft path of healing and regeneration. Of walking through darkness and honoring that part of ourselves.

I think often in our culture we get the message that it's not acceptable to feel grief, to be depressed or to experience anger. We are encouraged to seek therapy, to take drugs, even, to make ourselves “happy.” We answer "fine" when asked how we feel, even when we're not. For me the last few years have been about learning to be graceful and accepting of my dark times. The ability to integrate and accept all parts of oneself, not trying to hide or disassociate, this to me is the wisdom of the willow. As humans we are made up of light and dark. It is in acknowledging this truth where we can find strength, wisdom and peace.


Christine Read more!

What is a clairvoyant reading?

Clairvoyance simply put, means clear seeing. It is the ability to see beyond the cultural and personal illusions we accept as reality, in order to make informed and appropriate choices.

Each session begins with a general scan of your body and spirit. Using my intuitive sight, I look for areas in your energetic field that may benefit from focused attention. Together we will discuss what I see and use our combined intention to shift or address any issues as needed. (Please be aware, this is not a medical evaluation.)

Clairvoyant information or intuition, is not reaching into some non physical area or dipping into magic that you can't touch. It is simply utilizing the energy information to make decisions in the immediate moment. We look at energy, which partially can be defined as the emotional, psychological and spiritual components of a given situation. These are the ingredients of your life, in the here and now, as well as in the past and future.

After your energy check, you direct the focus of our time together, raising the questions you wish to understand from a clearer perspective. As a clairvoyant, I work as an interpreter between your Spirit and your conscious mind to assist you in aligning with your true path in this life. The images I see, are ones you as a Spirit show me, which I then speak out loud for your conscious mind. Through the power of awareness and focused attention, your Spirit helps your mind recognize new perspectives in order to self heal and open new doorways of potential.
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Appointments

I do in person sessions on Tuesdays. Phone sessions are available on Monday and Fridays.

I see clients in person at my studio in Oakland, CA.

Please email me at christine@sacredwillow.com with the dates and times you're interested in.

I will then contact you via phone or email to confirm that time and payment.

Payment is due prior to a phone session through PayPal and due at the beginning of a in person studio session Read more!

Opening to Growth and Abundence (reproduced)

Both April and May are months of spring. The etymology of April says that it came from the Latin, aperire "to open," an allusion to the buds of trees and flowers beginning to open. The symbolism of opening has a lot of parallels with my experience of April this year. By examining and moving the energy blocking me in various areas, I make openings for new energy in my life. It seems that this opening, or space making, is quite essential. Jesse likes to say, “the extent to which we can create, is the extent to which we can destroy.” This is part of the opening process, making way for new things. Take spring cleaning to heart! As we clear out those closets and make room for beautiful new clothes, so too we clear space in our psyche for new patterns and thoughts..

Back in December, I was writing about the process of looking into the dark spaces, and taking quiet time. As the seasons change, we also move with the energy of the planet. From the darkness we move into light, and May is the month of gentle springtime warmth and light.

Maia is the Earth goddess and ancient Roman goddess of springtime, warmth and increase. The wife of Vulcan—both considered deities of heat—the goddess Maia signifies the remarkable fertility of the earth.

Maia may have been the ancient and original name of the Bona Dea (the “Good Goddess"), whose name was considered so sacred TK forbid it to be spoken aloud. Through this connection, Maia was associated with the Goddesses Fauna and Fatua. She was also associated with Ops, the Earth-Goddess who symbolizes the wealth of the Earth, and the eastern Great Mother, Cybele.

The months and seasons offer us cues to follow if we attune to them. From the opening of spring to the fertility of new creations in May, I wish you all fertile creativity, creative projects, and peaceful openings and exploration.


Christine Read more!

Calendar

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Ripe (reproduced from newsletter.creativefire.org)

End of August. For my family, we are enjoying the last few days before school starts for the kids. Fitting in a last visit to Santa Cruz, going school shopping, watching the flowers we planted in full bloom, the zinnias, the morning glories. The tomato's that are peeking out from under the green explosion of leaves. Even the corn my daughter planted looks like it might produce something. Sitting on my back porch it comes to me what this time of year is about. It's about enjoying the abundance that you planted and the fullness that the summer season has brought. Here's a short meditation to help you realize the fullness of your summer season.

Sitting in a quiet place, allow yourself to visualize your body. From the tail bone you are connected to the center of this planet. Imagine the cord is as wide as your hips. From your head, see the cord connecting you to the cosmos. What color is this cord? Purple? Sea foam green? Gold? Image that you are connected to both the cosmos and to the center of the planet, imagine these energies running through your body. Imagine yourself sitting in the center of your head. This objective space is where you can see clearly the information coming to you. Once you reach this place, imagine a gold sphere above your head. Now, visualize all the things you did this summer, the swimming, the work projects completed, the quiet time with your family, any personal projects you finished. Put those things in the gold sphere.

Are there anythings you wanted to do, but didn't quite finish? Imagine those projects being energetically completed as you put them in the sphere. This way, you can bring your energy back from those projects and be ready to work on other things. Of course, you can always create those projects anew, but right now, you're giving yourself th gift of accomplishment.

Inside that sphere put a big dose of happiness, and enjoyment. Imagine the feeling of accomplishment too, you did a great job this season, harvest the richness you planted. When your sphere is full of accomplishment and happiness, and all the projects you did and didn't finish, congratulate yourself by bringing that sphere into your body. Imagine it flowing through the crown to fill up every part of you, this abundance overflows into the space around you. You see yourself, full and complete.

Celebrate! This is your gift to yourself, really congratulate yourself on a beautiful season! Know you are ready with all the energy and creativity you have for your next projects and desires. You are whole and complete with one season of life, and ready to look forward into the next! Hope you all have a happy labor day!

Christine Read more!

Summer Time Meditation

(published at creativefire.org) Here it is summer time! Although here in the bay area it's often hard to tell. It's often foggy and the temperature hovers around 57-65 in San Francisco. My spirit knows it's summer though, as do the gardens around me. This is a lovely analogy for an issue I've been muddling over recently.

For me recently I've been receiving information about a break through, and a wonderful spiritual space. But my body, my body, well sometimes it just plain hurts. It seems that people can see this wonderful transformation in me, and I can see this transformation myself in my own meditations, yet the body just isn't there yet. I asked myself and others, why is it that I can't experience this transformation? Well as classmate reminded me, the spirit does not exist in time & space, but the body sure does! The body takes time to adjust and to heal. We can make extraordinary spiritual changes and move energy without being hampered by time and space. That is the miracle of energy work! But the body needs time to absorb and reflect those changes. You may have planted the seeds for change in the spring, as the energy of the world naturally supports the planting energy at this time. As we are here in summer, it's time to begin to reap the harvest of your labor! As your flowers spring up, as the projects you've been working on begin to come to life, as the energy you've been focused on moving and releasing starts to move, maybe your body is singing in harmony with all this energy. But don't be discouraged if it is not reflecting the same ease and joy! Use this simple meditation to give your body all the healing energy it needs to come up to speed. Sitting in a quiet area, close your eyes. Imagine a chord connecting your tail bone (the first chakra)to the very center of the earth. Imagine that all the energy that is stuck in your body, or not in affinity with you is releasing down this chord to be recycled by the great heat of the earth. I like to imagine that this energy becomes recycled, clean energy available for anyone to use. Then through the crown of your head, imagine a chord connecting you to the cosmos. As these two energies run through your body, the cosmic energy that is running down your spine and meeting with earth energy in the first chakra they create a loop of energy through your chakras. In this way you are reminded that you are part of the flow of energy between the earth and the cosmos. You are a child of both, body and spirit, earth and sky. When you reach this centered place, imagine yourself in the neutral seeing spot in the center of your head. From this place imagine a circle in front of you. When you think about your own healing energy, what color does this circle become? Fill this circle up with your own healing color, the healthy pure energy of you. When this circle is full, imagine it pouring into your body, through the top of your head. This color will cycle along the same loop as the earth and cosmic energy we started running at first. It travels down the spine, through the first chakra, then up the front of the body, pelvis, solar plexus, heart, throat, head and crown and then back down again. As this energy travels through your body, imagine it lighting up every single cell with this healing color. Picture your cells, and organs, muscles and bones, all of your body glowing with health and vitality. Keep running this energy as long as you like. When you are ready to stop the meditation, perhaps ask your body what it would like today. What would make it really feel well taken care of? Also take sometime to thank yourself and spirit for providing such a simple tool to take care of your body. Imagine a golden sun above your head and pour this energy into your body through the crown chakra. When you are full of this golden neutral energy, come out of trance.
I find I need reminders to take care of the body, but ultimately I want to enjoy all these transformations I am creating in my life, and the body is the way for me to do that! Here's to enjoying the beautiful weather and feeling good!

Christine Read more!

The Road Ahead (reproduced from newsletter.creativefire.org)

Do you ever find when you're on the path somewhere, that half way through you forget where you're going? I think of Jerry and Ester Hicks, and Abraham saying something like (and I'm going to paraphrase) some things are easy to do. Take for instance a trip to San Diego, because it's clearly been mapped out, you know what it is, you know far it is and so you go. You don't get halfway there & turn around and go back because you doubt you'll never get there. You can only see as far as the headlights let you see at night, but still you trust that all will proceed as the map says, and sure enough it does. But we seem to regard progress or changes in our own life though a bit differently. Have you experienced that? For example maybe you start art classes, thinking you'd like to learn to paint. But then just a few classes into it, you decide you're just not a painter?

We begin to manifest a dream or desire and then often we turn back before we reach that desire. I find that when working on a deep transformation within the self it's even easier to give up along the way, thinking I'll never change, or it's just not meant for me. When in reality I'm just in the process, unable to see my destination. Only able to see down the road a short distance. It's as Abraham said, I've made it half way to San Diego and then declared that San Diego is the impossible dream!

It's not impossible. It's just that personal transformation is not as well mapped out as our national highway system. The roads are marked, but we might not always remember what they mean. And driving to San Diego these days doesn't require much apparent faith, whereas healing something deep within your self often does. I've found a good tool to use is this: Close your eyes and picture your desire. What was it that you wanted? Picture that as a circle. In your mind's eye place that circle on the right side and on the left side, create an image of yourself. Now imaging a line connecting the two. On the left is your self as you are now, on the right is your self as you'd like to be (or the desire you are creating). On this line now, put up a small gauge and ask yourself; how far along this path am I? Allow the little gauge to slide toward your goal until it stops. Now you have your map. At this moment in time, this is where you are. This is how far you've come. That is how far you still have to go. You can of course use other tools to find out what energy is blocking you from attaining your desire, but even the simple exercise of creating this "map" of where I am, is extremely helpful. Now I don't have to turn around! I know I can keep going forward. Following the path at my feet.

Hope this month brings a manifestation into reality for you.

Christine Read more!