Inspiration

I picked up a book at the library recently, Terry' Gross's "All I did was Ask" a series of interviews with writers, authors and actors. I found that I really enjoyed listening to her and her interviewees more than reading them. But in the second to last interview I found the reason that I picked up this book.

I had never heard of the author Carol Shields. You can click on her name for more information on her if you are unfamiliar with her as well. But I found two things she said to be completely inspiring.

First. "I would give myself one to two pages a day, and if I didn't get to my two pages, I would get into bed at night with one of those thick, yellow tablets of lined paper and I would do two quick pages and then turn off the light. I did this for nine months , and at the end of nine months, I had a novel." She had FIVE CHILDREN!! FIVE! I was so relieved to read this that I could almost cry I could actually picture my book.

Then at the end of the interview she puts it all into perspective. She has advanced breast cancer and is going to die, very soon actually, and Terry asks her if it matters that she will have her books as a legacy. Shields says "The day I got my Pulitzer Prize, I met Margo Jefferson and she said, "You know what this means, don't you?" And I said, "No, What?" and she said, "You already know the first line of your obituary." And, of course, I do. And I found that rather frightening. But someone sent me a list of all the Pulitzer prize winners since something like 1915, and I'd never heard of half of them. I don't think literary reputations live on - very few of them. Books fall out of the public eye. I don't have a sense of leaving anything permanent at all. I suppose one thinks of one's children as what you leave permanently, and their children. Naturally I like to write books that people enjoy reading. But the literary legacy? No, Its' very unimportant to me."

Bless her wherever she is. I have this nagging sense that I have to "accomplish" something artistic before I die, leave something like a book, or great art, something "worthwhile". It was so nice to be reminded that that is complete and utter BULLSHIT! yea!