Recontextualizing me

(art by Danielle Duer)

A dear friend of mine once said something about me that has been replaying in my mind recently. Actually she's said MANY things about me and lots of them stick. She has that gift, of insight into my personality at times, and the trust in our friendship to actually offer observations when she gets them, which I treasure. I don't remember when this comment was made, but I believe I was living in Sonoma at the time at the Barn House. She said something to the effect of "You ask a lot of people about your situations...". Implying, I felt, at the time that I really should look within myself for the truth of the matter. I have counselors you see, I ask friends about things, I get readings, I search on the internet, I read, I do tarot layouts. Since she mentioned that I really thought about it. Was I looking to others for the answer? Maybe I was! Maybe I didn't know my own truths! I did something else that may be familiar to you, I immediately turned this into a negative. I've been mulling this around lately and I've found the positive. It's not negative! I do talk a lot about things, and I know, sometimes think too much, and read a lot, but it's not to put responsibility on someone else's shoulders. It's actually research. I'm curious about the world. I want to bring in as much information about a situation as I can. I want to know, what does it look like energetically? What does a doctor say? What about a chiropractor? Does that jive with what I think? Did my dear friend go through the same thing when her child was 3 months old? If so does it feel similar to my kid? What does the tarot say about my relationship? Does it jive with my experience?What does Dr. Helen Fisher say about the chemistry of love? I can obsess over things, for sure, and sometimes it's just my analytical mind going round and round over something. But this researching mode, in the best sense is a touchstone for my intuition. I bring information into my energy space and if it rings true to me I keep it. I do this until I feel I have a complete picture of the issue at hand, and each piece has a part to play. Sometimes a new story comes into being by doing this activity. Sometimes I find peace. Sometimes I find the information I need to just do what I knew I needed to do in the first place. So here I am years later, after having pulling a bunch of information in about archetypes and I realize the scholar is something that rings true for me, and when I accept that archetype then something I thought was a negative, becomes a positive. And some part of myself is loved once again! Read more!

Earth Communication, by Kami McBride

Lately I have found myself interested in herbal medicine. An old friend of mine recently got back in touch and hosted a basic class on medicine making. We had a wonderful day, made some lip balm and other things, and talked about plants and their gifts to humans. My friend Nancy started her journey in part with Kami McBride. Kami is a local healer and teacher and allows posting of her articles. This one really speaks to me and I thought I'd share, it's on Earth Communication. making tea with your herbs? Do strong feelings ever come up while you are walking somewhere in nature? Have you ever been moved to tears by the earth’s beauty?

We have the ability to communicate with nature and receive information from the rocks, trees and plants. It is for us to slow down enough to be able to perceive nature’s language and to recognize the earth’s effect on us. One of the missions of my school the Living Awareness Institute is to cultivate the art of earth communication. I wasn’t raised in a culture that taught me the specifics of talking to the earth but somehow I have been inspired to find my way.

I had a powerful experience in my early twenties that provided a template for learning how to communicate with non-human earth inhabitants. My grandfather was an avid fisherman. We grew up fishing in the Sierras and the Ocean and I loved being in nature with him. When I graduated from college he gave me the gift of a fishing trip with him to the Arctic Circle. Definitely not your average destination.

The Arctic Circle is at the top of the globe and it is frozen there most of the year except for about eight weeks in summer. In July there are lakes that thaw out and you can fly small planes into several freezing cold remote lakes. The Arctic Circle is full of bears and eagles and the most beautiful wild life. Because it is so cold, the fish have a slow metabolism which allows them to live for a very long time. Because the fish live so long, they get very, very big. The largest salmon in the world live in the lakes in the Arctic Circle.

On the first day of our two week stay on top of the world I caught a giant salmon that fought me for forty five minutes before I got it into the boat. Once I saw this incredible creature I began crying, I had never seen such a wise and ancient fish. I said, “I want to put this fish back”. Of course everyone in the boat thought I was nuts. I proceeded to spend the next ten minutes holding this fish with my arms in the freezing water, resuscitating it back to life after it had given everything it had in its struggle with me. Just when I thought I couldn’t do it any longer, he opened his eyes, looked at me and swam away. The spirit from his eyes penetrated my being; I can still see them in my minds eye to this day. I could feel the spirit of this being, how old it was and how unnecessary it was for me to take it.

This experience was so profound that I could not fish for the rest of the time there. My grandfather thought I was being such a girl, but I felt a deep respect for the fish and was not given permission to take them. I ate fish that others caught and it was the most delicious I have ever tasted, but it was not for me to catch them.

So that meant that I had thirteen more days out on a boat in the middle of the lake. The boat went out at 6:00 am and came back around 6:00 pm. That is a lot of time to sit on a boat. What did I do? I laid on the hull of the boat and started watching the clouds. The sky is beautiful there and the clouds are endless. After hours and hours of just being with the clouds I began to really perceive their presence and felt an energetic transmission from them. I started to speak to them and ask questions and then they would answer the question through the movement of their formation. It reminded me of reading tea leaves. I watched the clouds for what was days on end in the crisp north air and fell in love with them. Each day I received different information about my life and life in general. They were so beautiful and I enjoyed being with them, it was like making a new friend.

To this day I have a special relationship with the clouds. I stop and watch them, ask them questions or just look at them until I receive a message. As I look back on my experience in the Arctic Circle I estimate that I spent about 100 hours just observing the clouds and learning their language. Not much else was there to distract me. I had time, empty space, a willingness and I enjoyed being with the clouds. I think these are basic components for developing our relationship with the earth, the rocks, the plants or people for that matter.

The next time that you are somewhere that you love in nature, just sit or lay down and relax and hang out with a tree, rock or plant. Take your time and just be with the earth without having to rush. You may just be surprised at what she has to say! Next month I will talk about more techniques for enhancing your earth communication.


Kami McBride has taught herbal medicine and women’s health since 1988. She is the director of Cultivating the Herbal Medicine Woman Within, an experiential herbal studies program where women are inspired to reclaim their heritage as herbalists and healers. Kami is the author of 105 Ways to Celebrate Menstruation that is available on amazon.com Kami teaches Women’s Wisdom workshops for women to experience optimum health in relation to their body cycles. For a schedule of upcoming classes or for an herbal consultation Kami can be reached at (707) 446-1290 or sign up for her free herbal enewsletter at: www.livingawareness.com Read more!

The Book Zoo and Dylan Thomas

Yesterday I was walking with my dear friend and my dear boy down Telegraph Avenue to pick up our volvo that had finished it's stay at Montclair Auto. It had been an incredible day, where circuitously and in strange ways the universe answered every prayer that I've had for communication between my daughters father and I. It was stressful and curious and yet somehow I felt everything would be OK. That everyone involved had my daughters best interests at heart. After this long strange couple weeks I found myself on a Friday walking down the block, with a dear old friend and the sun shining. My son was babbling from his stroller, enjoying things as much as we it seemed. We came up on Book Zoo and had the most marvelous interaction. As we were checking out the sale books on the sidewalk, the owner of the store popped out and I realized I had seen him at SFO at 12:30 in the morning on Tuesday. He had a book zoo t-shirt on, so it was easy to remember him and there he was again with his mop of curly black hair and bright smile. I mentioned that I had seen him and we exchanged small talk. It's funny I never feel great about small talk, but am always conscious that there may be another reason for my interaction with someone than actually passing information about the weather. Now I don't question it. If my spirit has something to communicate I let it do it's job and I speak about the ice cream I just bought or the cute t-shirt in the window till it's done. Any who...there we were and this little sprite pops out! Her mom (my daughters kindergarten teacher) introduces her again and the little elf proceeds to be the most amazing sales person I've ever seen! She lures us into the store saying that "we have a children's area" and "he (meaning our boy) will love it." I can't resist her beautiful smile and tousled hair. Not to mention her cute polka dot dress. She shows us to the children's area and we browse a little. I've already got two in my hand, one a Beverly Clearey book for C. and two a book called something like I love you stinky face for A. But I browse and I find a book of Children's tales from the dark side of the spirit or something like that. of course this immediately jumps into my hand and E. and I check it out. I believe the whole reason that our sprightly sales girl lead us into the store was to see the quote in this book by Dylan Thomas, it's from A Poem on his Birthday and taken way of of context, but it speaks to me so here goes "Dark is a way, Light is a place." When I looked the poem up it seemed locked to me. Like the information I was meant to get from it was this one line and no more, because I could not read the poem to save my life. Strange eh?

Our little elf brought us to the register, added up our $2.00 for the two books and took our money before escorting us out telling us we should come back when A was older and could really enjoy the children's area. She followed us a half block before going back to her parents at the book zoo and we went on, pausing at a bus stop to nurse and then continuing down to the auto shop to make it just before they closed and pick up our car. I've been thinking about that quote ever since and the meaning has not become clear yet. Perhaps it is meant to go on my wall, when I do get my own dedicated office space. Perhaps that's all....but I find myself curious to meditate on it. I find myself curious what messages do others receive in their lives? Are the clear? Or are they like mine, mysterious sometimes and seemingly unrelated yet important? Read more!

A time of Family

We've been in Iron Mountain Michigan for three days now. My daughter is locked up with her cousins all day playing games of the mind and imagination. It's been cold so the kids have been inside most days. It's impossible for me to capture the beauty of the wide river here. I think that maybe a better/different lens I could capture it. Or perhaps a detail shot would capture the quiet beauty.



We finished out our trip with boat rides, fireworks and a parade, custard at Storheims, a trip to Walmart...You can learn so much when spending time with family. I love looking at the old photo's, the family parties, the births, graduations etc. But my heart was most content when sitting and listening to the wind in the poplars and pines, when the river becomes still in the morning or at sunset. I find myself dedicated to preserving this and keeping it in the family.

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