A reading of my own

I often check in with other healers on my own stuff. When I was enrolled at Creative Fire I would get weekly check ins as part of class. But since I've been home and centered in the east bay I most often schedule check ins with my mentor Liliana Barzola at Lotus Lantern Healing Arts. Checking in with a healer is such a good feeling. I feel I can direct my attention to things in my body that have been evasive in my own sight, and energies that I pick up from working with clients. No matter what is covered in a session I feel I've spent time on healing for me and that is such a rich and wonderful experience to give to the self. Recently I had a session with Eliel Fionn. Eliel is a wonderful intuitive and I had the honor of working with her years ago in a small group face reading session. A very dear friend of mine works with Eliel on a regular basis and spoke highly of her soul reading session. I thought this would be fun so I emailed Eliel and scheduled a time. Fun is a big motivator for me. Although I feel that I'm a pretty serious person most of the time I also have this huge desire to be a cut up whenever someone ELSE is being serious. Years ago I was talking to a dear friend and business partner and he asked me what I really wanted in life, it was a serious conversation as I was having a hard time in my personal life. I broke out and said completely spontaneously, "I want to have FUN!". It's true. I don't really understand what life is for if it's not to have a good time. All the people in the world suffering mystify me they really do. All the suffering we cause and accept ourselves it's amazing to me. Anyway all of this just to say that fun is a huge motivator to me and the reason I first sought a reading from a clairvoyant, just for fun. So last Friday I booked time with Eliel. What a fun time! I got a lot of information, what was really fun was I could hear the things I said about myself over the years in her stories about my soul and my past lives. Here are some archtypical themes that she spoke about.

1. The Seer/Prophet - I have a struggle with my gifts. For many lives I've hidden these away. The longing that I had this lifetime as a child to experience magic, and as an adult to experience God. These things she said are good, because they show a longing to return to my true self. That self is a seer/prophet.

2. Scholar - I have been well trained in many lifetimes. I have a longing for knowledge to understand my own abilities. So my search for my own abilities includes much reading and studying. Very true. Part of me feels like I can't offer my services to others without a firm grounding in the information.

3. Artistic - Whether leading a life as an artist or not, I am artistic about what I do, but practical. I love to build things that are useful. I am interested more in the question of "what is creativity" Not just creating, but why we create. The thing that rang really true here is I have a leaning towards non-traditional schedules. I have a hard time working for others.

4. I love my Freedom - True. And I want others to have it to. I have always thought there is something more to life than just working and putting food on the table. This has lead me to some funny places, and in many lifetimes, much trouble. But I believe firmly in the freedom of our own thoughts. That integrity to self is important.

5. Builder Archetype - I am a leader, but prefer leading "with" people rather then at the front of the group alone. And this comes from a desire to have something continue without me. I figure if there isn't one leader, than the movement can't die. I like self sustaining organizations and empowering others. I like starting businesses, things that on the outside fit in with the status quo, yet internally are radically humanitarian. I"m very careful to camouflage myself. Often part of a culture and rebelling from within. True True. I've often said how much I love to be able to blend in.

6. I find myself curious about suffering. Why do we suffer? I understand the body has to die, but why do we build cultures to suffer? This question fascinates me.

7. Relationships - I like to partner with people. I've done it a lot, worked with groups to get things done.

8. Nurturer/Mother - Because of my experience with so much suffering I want to comfort people. Something for me to keep in mind is that I am not obligated to serve. I guess the sign "I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone" should be posted on my chest. Or was that "no shirt, no shoes, no service"? It's important for me to have boundaries and know who is a friend and who is not.

There was a lot more, of course some I will keep for myself, and some I just couldn't write down or remember consciously. Although all the moments and images she was drawing from didn't feel or sound familiar at all times, it felt like she was somehow shaping an image of who I am. The slightly rebellious, curious me, the me that ponders why, the me that declared she was an artist even though her family stared in surprise. The me who welcomes openly other peoples beliefs and loves, the me that's started multiple businesses and mostly ends up working for herself.

I love how gracious Eliel is and how her words just flow from her like a liquid pool of light. After speaking with her I felt like electricity was running through my upper chakras. I vibrated with it and afterwards ate a nice fat lunch to ground me back in my body.

The timing must be right. Right time right place, right set and setting. Everything happens as it should and I love feeling the validation and clearing that working with a gifted clairvoyant can provide.

Thank you Eliel!