Where did the first ANYTHING come from?

Last week we took a driving trip to San Diego to visit friends, see the zoo and be tourists. On the way there my daughter asks us, "Where did the first people come from?" I looked at my husband and I had to admit, I had no answer. I told her that there are a lot of thoughts about that, but no one knows for sure. I suggested outer space. She looked out the window and thought a bit and then said where did the first ANYTHING come from?

I asked her what did she think? She said, outer space....but my answer I know was not sufficient. I thought about it later and discussed it with B. I have to admit that in school I evolution without question. Not that it made total sense, but it did seem logical and to my chagrin I accepted most things without question. Questions for me even now are something I have to remind myself to ask and think about. But OK so far I see no reason not to believe in evolution, but in my rudimentary understanding of it, I can trace our ancestry back back back, through the different hominid forms, back to Africa, back to apes, back to a small warm mammal, back to a reptile, back to a fish, back to a single cell organism.

So there we are single celled organism.

Still my question is, well how did we get that? It's no less of a mystery to me, where we came from, you can talk natural selection or you can say that humans were put here all fully developed in one shot, but either way it's still a mystery. Was it lightening that struck in the primordial soup? Was it the creator, which you can call God? Honestly not matter how I came at it, I could only say we just don't know. I'm still not sure how to answer her questions, I like the mystery, but I can see why people feel comforted by religion. You can just say, well God did it. and that to me is a short hand way of saying it's a mystery. God is un"knowable". Spirit is something that we can experience, but the creator, can we know the source of all things while in this form?

Some would say we can, me I know my connection to that source of all things. I feel to my core at home with where I come from energetically, but does that explain how and why? Especially to a six year old?

What I came to was this, what she thought about it was important, reading some creations myths might be fun, talking about god and spirituality, that also could be fun...and ultimately, it doesn't really matter....

cause here we are no matter what we think about the hows and whys of it.
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There is darkness inside of me. At night the image of a flashing knife and soft flesh comes to me and it is so vivid that I know. I know what it is like to sacrifice a little one. I know what it is like to give up my own flesh, by my own hand. There was a time when I allowed darkness to consume me that much.

Perhaps it was only a dream. Yet even then they say that to the body, dreams register in the brain as real as the door you open or the friend you hug. The reactions are the same. So to me, whether I think it was another lifetime memory, or a dream conjured by my subconscious I would say either way I experienced that darkness.

As a mother, to see an image of myself sacrificing an infant is particularly disturbing. The fact that that idea crossed my mind even a little bit freaks me out. I think though the gift of those images is to give me an experience of life, so different my peaceful loving existence, so that I am once again joined to the creative experience of all souls. Even those that choose lifetimes of evil. I hope that these images remind me to remove judgment, there but for the grace of god go I. We are all spirits walking the path of being human and there are a myriad of experiences to choose. Instead of struggling with the pretense that I am all light, always good, I choose to have these thoughts remind me that I am dark and light. I am a mix of light and shadow, we all are. To resist that too much is to begin become a lie. To resist too much is to become that darkness, even when your intent is to avoid that. There is life and death, good and bad. Again and again I choose the path of light. But there were times I didn't.

Over several lifetimes a soul could be bending towards the light. This lifetime perhaps he or she zigged instead of zagged. Perhaps this lifetime they got an F but at the end of days when they are judged, turns out they got A's in everything else and were considered at the top of their class. It is not up to me to judge an individuals life path. We all choose to learn in different ways. It is up to me though to be an assistance to those souls who would like to sort through the darkness to find their true selves. To accept, to forgive, to grieve and to move on, zigging once again towards the light.

I am so full this day, so large with love and home and family. I feel the light of love illuminating my eyes and beaming out. In these days, that's an important thing. Constantly choosing to let your light shine, even though around you is news of darkness and hopelessness. Find that small thing that makes you happy and let that spark inside you grow. We need more of that now.
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Client Services

This morning I had a really fun and interesting reading with a new client. And I found myself wondering what kind of technical services could support the session experience. So I thought I'd put it out there to the internet...click the read more to see some of my ideas.1. I could make a digital recording and could mail it to you. 2. take that same digital file and upload it to a possword protected part of my website, so you could see your history of readings. (of course in time that woul dinvolve a small monthly storage fee) 3. Create a journal for you, from blurb.com or ibook with some of my writings and blank paper for you to write about your experiences in. 4. create a small book from transcripts of your sessions...that might be more difficult. Not sure about the technical capabilities of creating text from an audio file, I mean except from me typing it. :) Any other ideas? Feel free to comment! Read more!